The Man in Red
by DeChunk
Summary: A Christmas one shot involving The Flash and the Dynamic Duo. Short, but it's humorous. Please review.


The Man in Red

By DeChunk

It was 11:39 pm on Christmas Eve, and Wally West was asleep in his bed, waiting for morning to come and presents to open. Of course because we have a story to tell, his slumber was interrupted by the ringing of a phone.

Ring Ring! It chimed. Ring Ring!

Wally tried to tune out the annoying siren on his bedside table, and it finally stopped.

Peace. Quiet. Dreams.

Ring Ring!

Wally shot up with a start in anger. It was Dick Grayson, his bestest buddy.

Wearily he answered. "Hello?"

"Wally? Yea, we need you down here now." Dick's voice had an urgent tone that it hadn't before.

"Down where?"

"Wayne Manor, where else?"

"Well you could have been in Themyscira, you could have been at the Hall of Justice, you could have-"

"Wayne Manor, now!" Dick interrupted. After that the phone was hung up on the other end.

Wally was still confused, but when the Bat Family asked for help, he was almost obligated to throw his hat in the ring. With that, he put on his speed suit and ran off to Gotham.

He arrived in the Bat Cave after a few short moments to The Batman himself in his civies holding his head in his hands and Dick pacing back and forth in a navy robe. "What's the problem?"

"Bats shot down Santa, that's the problem!" Dick responded.

Wally stared in bewilderment. "What?"

Bruce stood up. "I got a tip that Joker was planning to break into the Manor to fill my house with coal and light the fire with some explosive chestnuts, so I made some modifications to the security system so that the Clown Prince wouldn't get in." He gave a sigh. "How was I supposed to know he was real?!"

Wally did not believe that The Dark Knight would react this deeply to something like this. He was like a little boy who broke the neighbors' window.

"So where's Santa now?"

Dick gave him a wave and walked the speedster over to a table where a fat man in a bright red wool robe with white fur trimming sat. He had a wreath around his head and a round frostbitten nose. Next to the table was a large burlap sack with little golden designs covering it. Its owner looked over at Wally and then gave Dick a questioning look.

"This is the guy?" Dick nodded. "Well, it was nice knowing Christmas while it lasted."

"What? What did he mean by that?"

Dick gave a sigh. "The defense grid shot down his sleigh. A few of the reindeer were injured, but they'll be fine. We can get the sleigh repaired, but it'll take a week."

Wally looked at the two men one after another. "So what does this have to do with me?"

Santa hopped off the table. "I'm told you're the only one fast enough to get the job done. I need you to deliver all the rest of the presents to all the other children I haven't been able to get to." Santa looked into Wally's eyes. "Do you think you can do it?"

"Do it?! This is every kid's dream!" Wally looked off into the distance of his imagination. "I get to save Christmas."

"Alright, it's settled." Santa handed Wally the bag. "You deliver them, and I'll make sure you get a nice comfy seat on the nice list."

Wally grabbed the bag with great excitement, but then realized what was just said. "Wait, I'm not on the nice list?"

Santa bit his lip. "You do good, don't gt me wrong, it's just that mouth of yours puts you on the boarder."

Wally was shocked. "Alright, but I'll need to get changed first." And he ran out of the room.

Dick and Santa looked at each other.

"You sure this kid's alright?"

"He's not as bad as Plastic Man."

Santa turned away. "Should have called Superman."

Dick realized that that really would have been a better idea and smacked his own face.

Wally returned now clad in a new flash costume. This one was still predominantly red, but now had small green swirls at points, his yellow boots and belt had been replaced with a nonclashing silver, the bolts on his head became antlers, his logo replaced with a bit of holly, and a mistletoe hanging from a small fishing wire out and in front of him.

"Wally," Dick asked. "What is this?"

"It's my Christmas Saving outfit. I've had it in my closet for three years now, and figured it was the only time I'd be able to use it."

"What's with the mistletoe?"

"In case I meet any MILFs." Santa gave Wally a glare. "I mean, I won't have time for that, so I best just…" Wally trailed off and then looked at the floor and twiddled his thumbs. Santa broke the mistletoe off leaving an awkward splintery horn on The Scarlet and Forest Speedster's head.

Bruce walked over to the other three men. "What's with Wally?"

"It's my-"

"Do you really need to ask?" Dick interrupted.

Bruce shrugged it off and pulled something out of his pocket. "Here, you'll need this." It was an earpiece.

"What for?"

"Do you know where all the little children live?" asked rhetorically.

"You do?" Wally snarked back. After a few seconds, Wally realized that Bruce would and took the earpiece and put it under his costume. "So this is going to work right?" Everyone else looked at each other unconvinced. "Alright then, wish me luck!" Where there once was a rambling idiot, there was now only a cartoonish cloud of smoke.

Bruce then went to the Bat Computer with Santa's list and did something he hadn't done in a very long time. He prayed.

"God help us all," Santa said, and the three in the Batcave stood in silence knowing exactly what he'd meant by that.


End file.
